Once Ago
by Forever Ordinary
Summary: He was her beacon of light in the toughest storms and she never imagined her life without him.


It was impossible to forget.

The first time they met...the first time they kissed...the first time they made love.

It all seemed far too long ago, and in reality...that was the truth she had tried to ignore. It had been difficult for her to carry on her plans with the thought of him not being there by her side. It was a bigger hit when she found him alive and breathing; watching over her with a different name and identity. She secretly reveled in the moments they were together, no matter in whatever situation they were put in. Maybe she never showed it, but he had been her very foundation.

Whenever she had a rough moment or whenever she had to deal with stressful situations, she would think of him and found herself with new-found strength. He was her beacon of light in the toughest storms and she never imagined her life without him.

However, it didn't surprise her when she saw someone else by his side.

Cagalli had pushed him away...after all.

It was a decision she had to make.

Her hands still trembled when she thought about it.

The most difficult thing she ever had to let herself do...was to let him go. The feelings that struck her on that day always came back full force whenever she thought about him now. It broke her to give back the only thing that signified his declaration of his love for her. The ring reminded her of all the times they spent together...and the promise they had vowed to keep.

She broke that.

Cagalli knew that he hadn't been happy with it...but never once did he show it on his face. He was strong like that. It was something she had always admired.

But, she could tell from the glint in his eyes that it hurt him to see her every time...how she acted like nothing had happened...

So, as she had told herself...it didn't surprise her to see someone else beside him.

 _Meyrin_.

She could feel the envious emotion building up inside of her. This could've been something she held in her hands...but now it belonged to somebody else. Cagalli used to be the one that made him smile the most...but now, all she gave him were frowns. She had seen the way his eyes would light up whenever he saw Meyrin.

He used to look at her like that.

It took everything she had to not go after him after the war.

It was unfair to him.

It was unfair to Meyrin.

Cagalli was the one that dealt the blow, and she had to face the consequences. She would have had to be blind to not notice how Meyrin was undoubtedly in love with Athrun. The girl that brought him out of the darkness...she deserved him. Unlike Cagalli. This was yet another difficult thing she had to do. Accept them together.

She knew Athrun would never openly be with Meyrin if Cagalli was around.

Cagalli decided to leave.

It was in her blood to protect her country, but after the alliances and and negotiations, it was safe for her to finally take a step back. That too, was another difficult thing. Taking that step back. It was all she knew back then...the violence, the war, the deaths. She was finally able to walk away. To finally breathe...and she was alone.

Difficult things. It seemed like she would never be able to run away from that...even with the freedom she had now.

It had been a tearful goodbye when she had said her farewells to Kira and Lacus. They knew where she was coming from and that she needed to be alone...They just didn't know that this was another act on her part to drop her selfish ways. In the sense that Athrun had been the foundation of her strength, Kira had been the pillars that supported her to be confident and to stand straight and proud. However, she had relied on Kira enough and it was time to let him start his own life with Lacus. Cagalli couldn't burden them any longer when she had already overstayed her welcome. Kira and Lacus would never say that to her, but it was what she believed.

She smiled bitterly.

It was funny how she was here again.

On their island.

Alone.

Just like the first time, except...

She was truly alone.

Cagalli was finally alone.

It was a short walk from the beach to the cave where they had first met. The place was untouched, and the only evidence of there ever being a fire were the rocks that had protected its flames.

It wasn't long before she had a fire going.

It was nightfall and it was pointless for her to leave until the morning.

Cagalli was glad that she had prepared for her trip. She had only decided to backpack around and ended up on the island before she truly left. Rolling out her sleeping bag, she kept her necessities further in towards the cave so that if she were to be in any unlikely encounters, they would have to go through her before reaching her supplies.

She decided not to eat.

She wasn't hungry in the first place, and the cool night and lulling fire was drawing her to sleep.

It wasn't long before she was lying in comfort of the warm heat that surrounded her.

Only one thing was on her mind before she fell asleep.

 _Athrun_.

The gentle touches she felt were so surreal. Cagalli knew she was dreaming and yet...the touches...

It made her heart ache.

She could peer into his soul as he smile at her so lovingly. His lips that grazed hers brought tingles to her skin. Why did it have to be so real. If only she could dream forever.

Cagalli attempted to draw the dream longer...but it was inevitable because she could feel her senses coming back to her.

However, she felt her body stiffen as she felt a warm touch that was definitely not from the results of her dream.

The gentle fingers were bringing her out of her slumber and her eyes fluttered open slightly to the dimmed lighting in the cave. Her every senses were telling her to jump back in defensive reflexes, but another part of her that recognized the gentle caresses told her to stay.

Tilting her head to the left, her breath hitched as warm amber met forest green.

It was still impossible to describe the effect he had on her. It was like all those years ago when she had first saw him. The adrenaline that ran through her veins as they clashed outwardly, but inevitably drawing each other closer.

Cagalli rarely tried to let her emotions get the best of her, but it was impossible when the thing she wanted the most was right in front of her.

She could feel the tears building up gently like a strong current before it broke its dam.

"What are you doing here...?" Cagalli whispered as she attempted to turn away from the heated gaze, but was stopped when firm fingers held her chin.

He didn't say anything for a moment, but she knew he had heard. A finger traced her lips as it rose up to sweep a tear drop that had managed to escape.

"Where you are is where I'll always be." Her eyes widened as he tilted his head down, his lips barely centimeters away from hers. "It took me awhile to figure it out, but it only proved to me how hard headed you can be."

Letting their lips meet briefly, he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. Cagalli could feel the shameless tears that had decided to escape from its confines.

She felt the slight pain to the middle of her forehead as Athrun pulled back the fingers that had flicked her gently in a slightly playful manner. Cagalli tried to turn her head away, but failed when his lips held hers firmly in place. It was all Athrun. He was yet again, unlocking her desires.

"It was wrong of me to let you make your own choices when it came to our relationship." Athrun explained when he saw the slight frown that marred her face. "You always over think things and never see the simplicity of what it's suppose to be."

"I-" She was shushed when his fingers brushed over her lips and another hand came to even out the lines of her frowns.

"I knew what you were thinking and it was silly of me to think you could over come it without me there to point it out...but you have done it once again, Cagalli." The humour evident in his voice. "You fail to see the obvious."

"And what might that be?" Cagalli bit out as she reigned in her emotions, the tears that had been let out now drying on her skin. She refused to show any more weaknesses in front of him.

"I will always be here for you. I've told you before that I love you and only you. That will never change. Regardless of what you did back then and what you thought happened between Meyrin and I." Athrun let their lips meet briefly as a heated hand rested against her hip.

Cagalli could feel her cheeks flush in anger, embarrassment, and excitement.

She could feel the pins that danced on her skin from wherever he touched.

"It took me awhile to understand why you had to do what you did back then...but I know that I accepted your decision. I've only been waiting for you to come back to me again." Athrun smiled playfully as the loving affection was now ever so evident in his eyes.

Cagalli couldn't stare any longer before shifting her eyes, the heated flames in her cheeks were growing by the minute.

She had to do it.

She had to say it.

"I-I'm sorry." She muttered as she felt the small kisses that were placed on her cheeks stop.

"I forgave you a long time ago." He whispered as she finally let her hands place themselves on his chest, feeling the way his beating heart was pounding against her palm. "Don't run away from me again."

"I wasn't running..."

"Don't try to assume for the worse. You were barely even trying." Athrun teased as he finally relaxed himself on his back before pulling her closer to him.

"How did you know I was here?" Cagalli asked, deciding to leave her other questions for another day.

It was only suppose to be him and her now.

"I know you better than you know yourself." He answered quietly before a serious tone reached his next few words. "It hurts me when you undermine my feelings for you. I was serious when I made my vow and it was never in my interest to look elsewhere."

"Athrun..."

"If you looked closely enough, my eyes never strayed too far from you." Athrun said truthfully as he threaded his fingers through her hair, playing with the strands that slipped through his fingers.

"Then..." Cagalli started off slowly, "Will you stay by my side?"

"Always."


End file.
